HELPING

Galatians 6:9, “And let us not lose heart in doing good for in due time we shall reap if we do not grow weary.”

What does helping mean?

To give someone support to make their situation better or to be able to do something easier.

I believe that everyone in our group has a heart to help others and a desire to be there for others.

But what we have to remember that when we want to help someone it’s good to know where they need help. Quite often we think we know what they need but we can be wrong. For example, if a toilet said, ‘O I really want to help you, you look like you need a shower, come inside me and I’ll wash you.” Would you be happy? Or if the shower said, ‘Hayley, you look so tired, come and sleep inside me.” I’ll never to accept to wash in the toilet or sleep in the shower no matter how tired or dirty I am.

For example, I want to help Shari so I think to myself, ‘O Shari’s not very good at dressing (just an example, she is good at dressing), I’ll take her shopping and get her new clothes’. But that might not be where she needs help. She might think, I don’t need new clothes, I need someone to help me babysit. So I need to help her where SHE needs help not where I THINK she wants help.

E.g. Ang, I decide to show her how to cook because she’s not very good (this is just an example, as we all know Ang is the queen of cooking). So I offer her two hours of my time to teach her to cook. But Ange thinks, I don’t have time to spend like that. If Hayley wants to help me, why can’t she come and help me with the housework or take Leah for a couple of hours to give me a break.

So it’s important to help people with what they NEED and not what you THINK they need. And usually what you want to do for someone is actually a bigger sacrifice than what they actually need or want. We often don’t understand that. We think that if we do more for someone then they will be happier than if we do less but it’s not true. I might spend a lot of money on someone when all they really wanted was an encouraging letter in the mail. I remember hearing a man speak at church and he said that his daughter spent hours and hours in her room for weeks on end and this man kept asking his daughter, can we spend time together today and the daughter would say no she was busy. Then one day the daughter came out of her room with a beautiful handmade cushion for her dad and she was so proud of it because she had spent so much time on it and worked so hard. The dad really liked it too but he wished she had just spent that time with him instead. He preferred to go for walks with her after school.

But often we try to help people and we don’t really ask God first and this is when we get disappointed. “I tried to help Ange with cooking and she didn’t want it”.

For example, a friend of mine offered to buy me some new shoes, so we went shopping but I didn’t find any that I wanted. She was disappointed because she thought she hadn’t helped me. But she had because that day was the anniversary of my brother’s death and I was feeling sad but she had helped me to forget. So what she did for me was greater than a pair of shoes. So bear that in mind when you want to help someone. Usually people don’t want hours of your time or lots of money, they usually want something small and simple.

So before doing anything, it’s important to pray and ask God how you might help this person. I believe it’s important for us to help each other because we really need it. I believe that we really do need to think of others and try to find ways to help. Unfortunately I think we sometimes believe we are helping when we are not and when the person doesn’t respond the way we expect they would, we get discouraged. But as the verse says, do not lose heart or grow weary because you will reap in due time what you have sowed. Make sure to ask God first and then ask the person. And to also ask God to make that person to feel your help is important and that your help will be an encouragement.

It’s really important because if you do something that you think is helpful but it isn’t, you’ll just annoy people rather than help them. For example, you might like to visit someone who is sick which is really good and I praise God for all the visitors that I had. But some visitors didn’t know when to leave. And this is very important. If you visit someone, make sure to ask them how long they would like you to stay. If they say, fifteen minutes, then leave after fifteen minutes. If they say one hour, then respect that because your help was very helpful and then it turned into annoyance and the person will forget the help your visit was and only think about the way you stayed too long.

For example, I used to try and help my flatmates by doing all the housework but I would speak rudely. I wasn't helpful at all!

Another way where we are not helpful is when we have for example some junk that we need to get rid of. Maybe some old clothes and we can’t be bothered taking them to the clothing bin so we think, ‘I’ll give them to Hayley”. This is not helpful.

And remember that God created you special and unique and the way in which you can help will be different to the way others can help. A toilet can never be a shower and a shower can never be a bed. If you are good at cooking, then cook for people. If you are good at cleaning, then clean for people. If you are good at praying, then pray for people. If you are good at fixing things then fix things. If you have money, then give it. If you have time, then give it.

“And having gifts differing according to the grace that was given to us, whether prophecy, let us prophesy according to the proportion of our faith or ministry, let us give ourselves to our ministry; or he that teacheth, to his teaching or he that exhorteth, to his exhorting: he that giveth, let him do it with liberality; he that ruleth, with diligence; he that showeth mercy, with cheerfulness. Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good. In love of the brethren be tenderly affectioned one to another; in honor preferring one another, in diligence not slothful; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord, rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing stedfastly in prayer; communicating to the necessities of the saints; given to hospitality.” Romans 12:6-13

Why do we help?

It’s a recommendation from the Bible; it says you must help. God tells us to. And if you think about it carefully help covers everything that we are calling love. Everything in the Bible is just about help. When we breathe, when we write, pray; it’s all with help from God. Helping is something really big. That is why Jesus said that He was going to leave us for a little while but He would ask the Father to send to us a HELPER. Not love but a helper, not a pastor, not money but a helper.

So be encouraged to help one another and remember that you will reap what you sow if you don’t grow weary or lose heart.

By Hayley Boud